Tragedy is the Difference Between What is and What Could have Been
by Cerulean's Skies
Summary: This was something she had lost while never really having it, not even close to reaching it...


**Disclaimer: I don't own Owari no Seraph...**

"Mommy, mommy, mommy."

The juvenile high pitched voice permeates through her blissful ignorance called slumber. As her consciousness swirled and whirled in her sleep-induced state her senses make out a shuffling sound heading towards her before she felt someone shaking her.

"Mommy, mommy, wake up."

Her eyelids felt like lead as she squeezes them tighter before opting to open her eyes, fluttering them as her long curvy lashes kisses her cheeks whilst she bats them trying to grasp on her consciousness in the physical world. She managed to open her eyes, revealing two pools of currant red. Mahiru slowly raises her head up from its perch on her arms which she were interlaced on the desk- only to be confronted by two similar eyes as that of hers staring back at her. Said eyes belong to a little boy of what seemed like the age of three with silvery white hair and a pale complexion.

 _Wait, did he just call her mommy?_

"Mommy, you fehl asleep while making paypahwowrks," The cute toddler said, gesturing at the piles of paperworks bundled on top of each other on the desk which she had just now became aware of.

She couldn't help but stare at the kid who had apparently mistaken her for his mother.

 _Wait-_

 _Where is she?_

"Mommy?" The kid tugged at the sleeve of her uniform, preventing her from pondering further into her questions and the turmoil escalating inside her. He looked up at her with adorable doe eyes that gained her undivided attention in no time.

When she didn't answer the boy scooted further towards her, leaning up her knees," Whaht's wrong, mommy?"

"Uh... nothing. It's nothing. Mommy was just distracted," She opted to play along, giving him a smile while patting his head gently.

Her gaze unconsciously travels to the boy's eyes. They looked identical to hers, no doubt about that.

And as she continued looking at the boy she couldn't but feel a new weight that made itself apparent in her chest.

This, she thinks, was something she could've had. Something she had lost while never really having it, not even close to reaching it. A life that she had never lived but could have been. Because along the lines of deceit and a love that could never be she had forgotten that someday, somehow she could have _this_. Life had cast an intricate web around them, tangling them in lies and the dark things that they wanted to escape but couldn't. Because for the entirety of their life they were forced to live in the darkness; she was forced within a power-hungry family, to pretend to be the ever perfect heiress whose fate they would set, not her. But looking at this child in front of her, eyes identical to hers staring at her with child-like gaze she thinks it's okay to okay to forget the oppressive father (if she can even call him that) who would not even hesitate to kill her if she shows any sign of weakness, away from manipulative monsters that she has as brothers, and away from the Hiiragi name all together, just for this moment, even just right now.

The next thing she knows she has the boy enveloped in her arms, placed snuggly on her lap. She lets herself relish in this moment, closing her eyes. She holds on to him, afraid of him disappearing and going back to that cruel dark world.

"Mommy?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why awr you crying?"

That's when she becomes aware of the moisture trailing down her cheeks and landing on her arms, soaking the sleeves of her black uniform.

She musters a smile even with tears flowing from her glassy eyes," It's because I'm happy, Baby. Mommy's just happy."

"Ahr you wreally?" He asked, looking at her with a child-like concern that somehow seems out of place from his young face," Is mommy hurt?"

She manages a small chuckle that escapes her lips, shaking her head," No, I'm not. You're really adorable."

"I love you, always remember that," She says as she kisses his head.

"And Kyoshiro loves mommy too," He says as he wraps his tiny arms on her.

She smiles fondly at the boy whose name was apparently Kyoshiro.

A knock from the door interrupts the heartwarming moment shared between the two. A certain someone with medium length silver hair and blue eyes stood there, leaning on the frame of the open door with his signature smile.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Daddy!" Kyoshiro practically jumps from her lap and runs toward him, instantly hugging his legs.

Shinya chuckles fondly at the kid, taking him in his arms," How's my favorite kid today?"

"Daddy, I'm youwr only kid," Kyoshiro points out.

The older male laughs and ruffles his hair.

And Mahiru could only stay glued to her spot as she regards them, floored and speechless. There had been this tiny thought nagging at the back of her mind ever since she saw the little boy. Looking at them, she saw the similarities. The color of their hair or the shape of their nose was unmistakable from first sight.

She inwardly jolted when Shinya brought his gaze up and saw her. She wanted to look away, she really does, but that would only be giving herself away.

"Kyo-kun, could you go downstairs for dinner. Me and mommy would be right down, alright?" She heard him speak to the boy.

"Okay," The boy nodded," Mommy's acting weihrd though."

Shinya lowered the boy and Kyo automatically ran outside the room.

"Something wrong?" He asked, walking towards.

"No, of course not," She immediately answered.

"Then why, pray tell dear Mahiru, are your eyes puffy with tear streaks on your face?" He said as he reached out to wipe a lone tear with his thumb," Kyo said you were acting weird."

"I heard," She said, diverting her gaze from him. Upon closer inspection, she could see that Shinya had undergone some changes too, he had certainly grown. Perhaps his hair had grown or maybe it was because his facial features had become sharper, emphasizing what other girls had always seen in Shinya Hiiragi.

"Something's bothering you," He points out.

"I'm just not feeling well today."

"Oh? So a headache is making you cry?" Shinya says, the slightest hint of sarcasm evident in his tone as he flashed her a smile that made her want to pummel him.

She gives him a piercing look that demands him to drop it if he didn't want her to strangle the living daylights out of him.

He knew something was going on. Mahiru doesn't just cry or show her emotions easily without any particular reason. So he drops it, planning on interrogating her later but not as of currently because there was a toddler waiting for them downstairs and knowing him, the little boy was getting impatient.

"Okay, let's just go downstairs then. Kyo's probably running out of patience right now, that kid."

Mahiru nods her head and wordlessly starts walking out but not before Shinya grabs her hand, getting her attention.

"Oh, I forgot something," He says.

She arches a bro-

The next thing she knows is he's got his lips on hers, pressing tenderly. The kiss wasn't short nor was it long but Mahiru felt like it lasted for what seemed like forever. He smiles against her lips before pulling back.

"Tadaima," His smile was still plastered on his face.

"O-okaeri."

He leans his forehead against hers," I love you, you know that."

"I-"

"Mommy, daddy, I'm hungwry! Huhrry up!" An impatient Kyo bursts into the room, making them jump from each other quickly.

Kyo stomps over to where they were standing and grabs his dad's hand, dragging him out the room.

"Kyo? What are you doing?" Shinya raises a brow at his red eyed lookalike, letting the toddler pull him along.

"I know Daddy's the reason you guys are tayhking so long."

Shinya shoots her an 'it can't be helped' look. She lets herself giggle at the sight of Shinya getting dragged by someone not even half his size.

"Mommy!"

"Coming!" She answers before following her little family.

 _ **Family** , it felt foreign to her yet she can't deny the fact that the word sent a good feeling in her chest. For the entirety of her life family had just been an empty word. The Hiiragis were no ordinary family. But this one, this was genuine, not the cheap pretenses and illusion the Hiiragi family tried to build…_

 ** _-_** There was no pain but icy numbness, utter coldness as she takes ragged, shallow breathes.

Probably her last, she thinks.

' _Why now?'_

And just like that, the trance is put to an end, vanishing just like how her life was currently, the dream that showed her what she could've had. What fate supposed to have in store for her. But Mahiru had always been defiant as a child because when it comes down to it, it is her life in the first place.

But as she closed her eyes and the sight of a certain father and son greeted her against the back of her closed lids, she thinks at one point maybe she could've had a family, maybe it could've been nice, maybe it would've been great having something to look forward to at home. She now know that at some point maybe she could've been happy (or at least learn to be happy) and perhaps that was the hardest thing to know.


End file.
